Book of Shadows Rough Draft Part One

Love from the divine and of it is both a weight you must carry and a shoulder to lean on. It is a box that holds you safe and it is a freedom to be loved. It is a standard you have to live up to and an open heart that takes you as you are. It is a sacrifice made and a privilege of the divine to do so. It is not a pedestal you are frozen upon; it is a support when you are down. It is not an expectation of perfection; it is open eyes that see and accept your flaws. It is your flaws that make you human and equal; we all have our failings. It is not your whole life's purpose; love is what will give your days a new kind of spiritual transcendence.

The most wonderful of all things in life is the discovery of another human being with whom one's relationship has a growing depth, beauty and joy as time passes. It is a sort of divine accident, and the most wonderful of all things in life. All our young lives we search for someone to love. Someone who makes us complete. We choose partners & change partners. We dance to a song of heartbreak & hope, all the while wondering if somewhere, somehow, there's someone perfect who might be searching for us. Only true love can keep beauty innocent. When the soul wants, the soul waits---for love and sex and faith. We don't love qualities, we love the person; sometimes by reason of their defects as well as of their qualities. I would have you learn this lesson: you do not marry someone you can live with---you marry the person who you cannot live without.

Do not accept the concept of absolute evil. You will not worship any entity known as "Satan" or "the Devil", as defined by Judaic, Christian, and Islamic traditions. The concept of an ultimate evil force is one known as "Satan" or "the Devil" is a construct of Judaism and has no place here. The belief in a supernatural source of evil is not necessary; men alone are quite capable of all things wicked. Do not seek power through the suffering of others. Seek within nature that which contributes to your health and well-being.

The affirmation and fulfillment of life in a continuation of evolution and development of consciousness, that gives meaning to the Universe we know, and our personal role within it. The truth of love is the truth of the universe: it is the lamp of the soul that reveals the secrets of darkness. Love is the immortal flow of energy that nourishes, extends and preserves. Its eternal goal is life. Love is the offspring of spiritual affinity and unless that affinity is created in a moment, it will not be created for years or even generations. Love does not die easily. It is a living thing. It thrives in the face of all life's hazards, save one---neglect. More than three words mumbled before bedtime, love is action: a pattern of devotion in the things we do for each other every day. They do not love that do not show their love. You can show your love for the divine in your pattern; you can worship as is best for you.

The wheel of the year has eight spokes; there are eight holidays you are recommended to observe to keep yourself in a proper spiritual alignment with the natural rhythm of life forces. The day begins at sundown and lasts until the next sunset. The greatest of these holidays is a celebration of love and it begins at sunset on the last day of April and continues through the first day of May. The Ancient people, from the Priest and Priestess to the farmer and his wife understood the power of love: loving company between two people is an echo of the act that created all things. It is love that is the act of creation. The word Beltane or Bealltainn means Beall’s Fires or shining fire. It is celebrated during the day. This is the time when the Oak King is resurrected. You may burn a fire, wrap ribbons around a maypole, or collect wild water in honor of this holiday. Wild water is from the dew of plants, from natural streams, or from the ocean and may be used in spells, potions, and healing or cleansing rituals.

Summer Solstice, Litha, or Midsummer begins at sunset before the longest day of the year. This is the peak of the power of Light. Like a candle that burns brightest before it dies this is the moment when the Oak King aspect of the Horned God crests and gives way to his other face---the Holly King. The consort of the Goddess and symbol of male energy in the form of the divine, the Horned God reigns. He is the lord of the woodlands, the hunt and animals. He provides for the tribe through the hunt. The Horned God is is the lord of life, death and the underworld. And is the Sun to the Goddess' Moon. He alternates with the Goddess in ruling over the fertility cycle of birth, death and rebirth. He is born at the winter solstice, unites with the Goddess in marriage at Beltane, and dies at the summer solstice to bring fertility to the land as the Sacred King. The Sacred King is the King of the land that looks out upon his people and sees their suffering. He determines that the only way to save them is to sacrifice himself so that the land will become fertile and the people can live.

The Sacred King
Lady SpringWolf ©

In the green land of old, the men and women walked the fields in hunger. They would eat of those that walked in fur, fin and feather, and thanked them for their sacrifice. But their gifts were not enough for the people to live. They would eat of the wild fruits of the Earth, but that was not enough. They would forage the wood and eat of the wild berries, mushrooms and gourds, but this was not enough.As they looked for fruits and berries, as they hunted for fur, fin and feather, their homes could not be built. The roofs leaked in rain, the rooms stood cold for lack of fire, the land could not be tilled. For all of these gifts of food must be found, and hunted, and a home cannot be built on it's own.

The Sacred King saw the men and women in their suffering. He watched, waited, and thought upon it for a time, and his face grew grave and sad. He spoke to the Lady, and said, "I must die. The land will be fertile and the earth will bring forth a harvest and the people will live and grow."

The Lady sobbed and fell on her knees. She grieved for Her Lord and watched him leave for the fields beyond. The Lord traveled to the center of the land and he fell upon his sword, and died. The blood of his body flowed through the land and covered it in red. The Great Mother buried the Sacred King in the Earth, returning him to her womb, and mourned his passing from the land of life.

Winter wrapped the world in ice and snow. Covering the land with a gentile white blanket that hid the sleeping life beneath it's frozen splendor.

The Great Mother covered the face of the sky with dark clouds, and her tears of rain poured from there in cascades and torrents. The Tears of the Mother melted the snow and ice, and covered the ground in wetness.

Time passed and the Sun warmed the ground, and a green shoot appeared, poking its head out from the womb of the Mother. The green shoot grew as the days grew, longer and taller, until the golden hair of the Sacred King once more waved proudly in the wind; until the Grain of the Fields stood, row upon row, as far as the eye could see; until the Bounty of the Mother, the Sacred King Himself, stood upon the world, ready to be harvested.

The great Mother looked out upon the green fields, and saw the wind caressing the face of the Sacred King. "That was well done," she whispered upon the wind, "But it pains me to see you die once again."

"It is as it must be," He said, "And does it not show them that Death is an illusion. It is just another change in a multiverse of change?" he added. "And through their harvest, they strive and survive. They eat and grow. Their houses are built, their fires burn and their bread bakes for the harvest. And all this is a good thing."

"You are right," She sighed with sadness, "But I just wish it could have been done in a kinder way. The Lady still mourns your sacrifice and each year it will be so. Her tears will fall and her heart will ache, for her love has left her side."

"Change is never easy, Great Mother." He spoke, lowly, "But it is as it is, nonetheless.The fields are green, and the harvest is plentiful. The people are well and the land will grow again."

Thus it was, and so it is, and ever more shall be so!

August Eve, also called Lammas, is the holiday celebrating the sacrifice of the Horned God. It begins at sundown on the last day of July and continues until sundown on August 1st. Is is also a time for the Feast of Bread in which the first of the grain harvest is made into ritual loaves and eaten at the feast. The King dies as his body is harvested from the fields so that we may be fed, so that you may live, so that you may go into the winter months of darkness rich with his blood and love in your veins. The Dark King, Shepherd of souls, becomes stronger now. With Winter you will go inward, to the inner depths of your soul. And He will embrace you with His love in the coming trials and celebrations of the Wintertime. Some of the crops are harvested and we give thanks. Some of the crops are not yet ready and we must ensure the harvest.

A very common custom during this time is the hand-fasting that lasts a year and a day. Couples use this time to decide if they can live together for life or to part ways. If they decided to hand-fast for life, they would hold a ceremony making that official. A hand-fasting of either type can occur during any time of year, though during this time is a well known practice. You may bake bread and eat it as a part of your holiday dinner or you may bake bread and bring in food from the garden to distribute among the poor and senior citizens of your local community or used food to raise funds for charity. Recognize that the food is a sacrifice made for you to live. In this way the Horned God is another dual aspect, he is both a giver life and a bringer of death.

The Autumnal Equinox, also called the Harvest Home, is a time to give thanks for the fruits of the earth and recognize the need to share them. Each of us has an individual spirit that comes from and is a part of the deity; by respecting and honoring others you are respecting and honoring the spirit within you and within others that comes from and goes back to the spirit of the universe. In this way you secure the blessings of the Goddess and the God.

The Deity

He is the Lord of the woods, God of the hunt, and of animals. He provides for the tribe as the Hunter and is honored or rewarded for his deeds by being permitted to join with the Goddess through the Great Rite and give himself life again through his son. He is also the Stag God. The Stag stands for solitary nobility, honour and a strong commitment to the protection of the herd. As a God of fertility and wild animals, the Stag is a symbol of protection and sexuality. He is extremely devoted to the care and creation of children. The Stag focuses on the balance of law and is rigid in his thinking on the issues of justice.

The Horned God is the Lord of Life because by providing food for his family he gives them life. He is the God of Death and the Underworld because he is also the Stag that must die in order for this sustenance to be provided to them. He is the Sun to the Goddess Moon. He reigns with the Goddess in ruling over the fertility cycle of birth, death and rebirth. He is born at the winter solstice, unites with the Goddess at Beltane, and dies at the summer solstice to bring fertility to the land.

Those people who channel the God in the day to day have a sacred privilege. The God in your household, whether that is a woman, a man, or a hermaphrodite, has the privilege of acting out the role of God. Some people strongly channel the God in a literal sense. They hunt, bring home deer, clean it, cook it, and put it on the table. Whether literal or metaphorical the living aspect of God in your home is a sacred duty and one commits to such a life out of love. Respect and honor that commitment, that love, and you are respecting and honoring the Horned God.

The Goddess is just as multi-faceted as the God. She provides life through the womb and care through empathy but she is also the Crone, a Goddess of Death and a dark mother. She represents our destruction, death, and decay. She forces us to realize that death is a part of the cycle we must all go through. Here, as in nature, the death of Winter is followed by the promise of rebirth in the Spring. She is often depicted as a Grandmother, a wise woman, or a midwife. Her own child rearing days are past; she is the wisdom keeper, seer and healer, whose knowledge is sought out to guide others during life's hardships and transitions. Invoke the Goddess in her dark aspect to help you face your deepest fears as despite her often fierce ways and appearance she offers great wisdom to those prepared to look upon her face.

My Horoscope

Free Sample Astro Identity Reading from Astrology.com

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MERCURY IN LIBRA--Mercury in the signs gives clues to the kinds of concerns that occupy your mind, and reveals your psychological approach to making decisions and conveying your ideas to others. In Libra, it indicates a mind that is primarily concerned with psychology and the well-being of mankind. You are likely to want to work with others, and could seek your career in fields such as philosophy, astrology, public relations, sociology, theology, and law. You will seek harmony and justice. You like to associate with others who have refined minds, good manners, and honest reputations.

VENUS IN SCORPIO--Venus in the signs indicates how you express your emotions in personal relationships and signifies your attitude toward personal possessions, creature comforts, and your aesthetic and social values. In Scorpio, the emotions and sexual desires can be strong and passionate, jealous and secretive, with much pride in sex and romance. You can take your romances too personally and too seriously, but you give much in emotional expression and expect much in return. Your artistic tastes are likely to turn to the dramatic and sensational. You are highly sensitive to others, and may be psychic. You will keep your personal pride and emotional dignity against all odds, sometimes appearing cold and remote. You need to watch out for tendencies to control others in close personal relationships.
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The Venus in Scorpio is interesting. "You will keep your personal pride and emotional dignity against all odds, sometimes appearing cold and remote." I wonder if that has anything to do with a comment I made in a previous post...

"I will stay self-sufficient and self-contained. I prefer it that way. I will keep my purity of spirit---untainted by compromising myself by being true to other people's views rather than my own."

It says "You can take your romances too personally and too seriously, but you give much in emotional expression and expect much in return," which I suppose is true.

Someone named Becky addressed me on Apostates blog: "It’s just not worth waiting for the most special person you’ve ever met. Sex is fun, but it’s not a magical experience. It doesn’t change your state of being, or make you mature or anything else. It’s just fucking. It can be a wonderfully intimate experience, and emotional of course. I have cried when making love before. But most of the time it is just fucking, and sometimes it’s crap whether or not you are in a loving relationship."

I am not waiting for the most special person I have ever met. (Actually, the most special person I have ever met is my sister and that would just be icky.) As for sex not being magical... I'm a witch. Everything is magic. Every day you live, every moment you are alive and aware changes your state of being. I don't expect sex to make me or anyone else more mature. I am mature enough for myself for right now anyway. So, you can tell I don't give much of what Becky has to say much credence. Now, I know Apostate has said that "Religious attitudes toward sexuality fuck people up. This is more or less fact," and she may be right. But I am going to make this argument anyway.

I am a spiritual person; I don't believe that our actions, our words, or our thoughts are especially finite. Energy simple transforms, it doesn't ever really end. It may not be worth it to others to abstain from physically intimate relationships that are emotionally lacking. I'm not waiting for the most special person I have ever met; I'm simply waiting for someone I have a spiritual affinity, someone I love and trust implicity (without reservations).

I am typically alone in my life; when I am with others I am a strongly pack-oriented person. I don't do middle ground particularly well; either you are someone I will have a relationship with for the rest of my life or I am completely uninterested and you are not worth remembering. This applies to friends as well as romantic interests. So, romantic partners will either receive the full force of my secret, strongly passionate romantic side or I won't remember your name---and you won't be a romantic partner if I can't or won't remember your name. (Those sorts of relationships are disrespectful to both people involved. Now that is not a standard I expect everyone else to believe in, but it is one I believe in very strongly.)

I am adept at being by myself; sometimes I am better at being alone than I am at anything else. I'm not usually lonely and even when I am---even during my most desperately lonely moments---I still will choose my own company to poor company and shoddy relationships.

That is my choice. If it isn't right for you and your life that is just fine. Make your own damn choices for yourself and I will be over here making my own choices for myself.

Bah humbug.

Messy, Embarrassing, and Bizarre

Sex is messy, especially if you are doing it right. Speaking objectively, it's a pretty messy, embarrassing and bizarre procedure altogether. It crosses otherwise guarded personal boundaries and it has emotional and physical consequences. At the very least, it's not just business as usual.

Excerpt Within an Excerpt

The Cult of Virginity

“I love you, too,” I said.

“Don’t say it if you don’t mean it,” he responded.

“No, no, I mean it.” And we kissed.

But then I stopped and stated, “Abdullah, I am a virgin and I will be a virgin till the day I marry.”

“You are?” He was incredulous. I was insulted. What do people think of us American girls? “I’m Muslim,” I said, somehow forgetting that all of his lovers had been Muslims also. “No, I mean really Muslim.”

And it was funny that my American Islam would be more “real” than their Eastern Islam. He was so happy he swung me around, proclaiming that even if I begged for it, he would never have sex with me, to keep me pure. My inner feminist wanted to take back my words because I was upset that he was so delighted I was a virgin. And I was also upset that I was so upset that he was not.

– Yousra Y. Fazili, Fumbling Toward Ecstasy, Living Islam Out Loud: American Muslim Women Speak

Ai yi yi.

“What do people think of us American girls?”

Sluts! Running around fucking pre-maritally!

“Inner feminist,” my ass. A real feminist would realize that this obsession with virginity and “purity” (as if sex sullies you) is deeply anti-feminist and anti-woman and anti-sex.

Seriously. This is the same woman who was saying half-way sensible things about Islamic sexuality earlier (quoted in previous post). Now, all of a sudden, she’s proudly subscribing to the cult of virginity. A suppressed part of her dimly sees the truth about a man who is delighted she is a virgin, but the not-so-suppressed part would have him be a virgin too.

Internets, in Venice, a 24 year old Canadian virgin pursued me HARD to get me to steal his virginity. Internets, I ran as hard as I could. Can you imagine anything worse in your bed (barring insects) than a fumbling awkward weirdo of a virgin of 24?

Having sex is part of being an adult. This is part of how and why women historically have been denied adult human status: they do not have sexual autonomy, while men do, no matter that men are also required to forswear sex before marriage. Fact is, they rarely do, resulting in the unequal application of the virgin standard to women.

http://apostate.wordpress.com/2009/07/14/the-cult-of-virginity/

Excerpt Within an Excerpt
Islamic Sexuality

[This is another excerpt from Living Islam Out Loud: American Muslim Women Speak]

Ask the most liberal and conservative hijabi why Islam sanctions the wearing of the hijab and there will surely be mention of the fact that Muslim women must be modest and unalluring so they are not seen as sex objects; they simply want to be seen as people. The problem I have always had with this reasoning is twofold. First, it is impossible to desexualize one’s self – our sexuality is an integral part of who we are and a part of our humanity that Islam celebrates within the domain of marriage. Second, this reasoning takes all responsibility away from men and places it on women. Men are not taught to have self-control, but women are repeatedly instructed to dress and behave modestly so as not to arouse a man.

The problem with ignoring our sexuality is that we are left not knowing how to react to it. In other words, when we are confronted by something we have spent so long repressing, it is difficult to have a healthy response to what is life-affirming, natural, and a gift from God: the ability to love and make love. It is Islam’s celebration of sex (within marriage) that happily separates us from other religions. And Islamic scholars have historically had frank discussions among themselves about the reality of sex both in and out of marriage. Tragically, scholarly and honest discussions about sex and sexuality never filter down to one’s local mosque or to the local imam, and certainly never come close to our Islamic religion schools. And when young Muslims seek advice , they go to their peers because there are no safe spaces for adult guidance. At least this has been my experience.

– Yousra Y. Fazili, Fumbling Toward Ecstasy, Living Islam Out Loud: American Muslim Women Speak

It’s true that Islam is different from some other religions in its affirmation of sexuality as a good thing, at least within marriage. On the other hand, as Fazili points out, after a lifetime of repression, it’s not really possible to simply turn around and enjoy sexuality, as if the previous episodes of shaming and guilt had never happened. If you spend a lot of time hiding your body, segregating the sexes, introducing the devil into an equation where two people in love find only blessing, shaming sluts who get laid without getting married, encouraging feelings of shame for one’s sexual urges, telling women that having pre-marital sex is an act of disrespect toward themselves, fostering the good girl/bad girl dichotomy, placing a ridiculous amount of importance on virginity before marriage — well, if you do all this, you can’t magically make all this not matter when you finally have divine permission to fuck for fun.

The human psyche just don’t work that way, sorry.

Either consensual, mutually participatory, adult sex is good, or it’s bad. It can’t be both, depending on whether or not you have obtained a legal document, whether or not you are fucking the right gender, whether or not your partner is of the right religion, whether or not your parents have approved the union. This is all superstitious nonsense and all it does is fetishize women’s bodies.

http://apostate.wordpress.com/2009/07/14/islamic-sexuality-excerpt/

After having read the two posts above I feel somewhat conflicted. I tried writing a post about this myself, and somehow through the difficulties of computer and internet it was lost. I believe I copied it from MicroSoft Word and then proceeded to copy something else from the web, then I closed MSW without saving (haha! brilliant!) and thus ended up losing what I had. Let's see if I can rewrite it, shall we?

I am feminist in some ways. I am oddly traditional in some ways. It is hardly a problem for me, but it may often confuse others who are trying to see inside my head and my heart.

I know that if you are doing things right being physically intimate is messy and embarrassing. Google "embarrassing" and "sex" sometime and you'll see what I mean. I believe that, at least for me, sex can and should be as emotionally intimate as it is physically intimate. I don’t believe that marriage is a prerequisite to feeling that way or that sex should be dependent on a legal document. However, I do fully intend to wait until I have someone in my life who I completely love and trust.

I had an ex, rather recently, that when we discussed having sex I was very disturbed. He told me he had never been with a woman who had had previous sexual partners; he had always been the first in his previous sexual experiences. He told me that he had no problem with my lack of experience... and (here is the disturbing part) that he believed he might have trouble being with a woman who was not a virgin.

It seemed to me as if he had a little trouble with being competitive, as if women to him were some sort of sexual prize or glory. The memory of that conversation helped to keep me from having my first time with someone who was not right for me. It may have been obvious to others but I was in love. I saw a problem, but I hoped everything would be alright. He broke up with me after three months, but that was for the best.

Still, sometimes feminist opinions like the ones above make me feel as if I should be ashamed not to have had sex. Many of my friends seem to have had no trouble finding a partner with whom they can be intimate. I truly believe the reason I have not had sex yet is only because I have not yet found a person with whom I share a completely loving and trusting relationship. I don't date very often, though I have had a legions worth of crushes and fantasies, and there have only been three men in my life that I have considered viable options for physical intimacy. Is there something wrong with me, then? I am letting myself repressed by a patriarchal society?

I don't think so. I don't believe being a feminist and being sexually inexperienced are mutually exclusive descriptors.

Once I find someone I share a loving, trusting, and committed relationship with I fully expect to do messy, embarrassing, bizarre, and very fun things with him. I might marry him, too, depending on how things work out. In the meantime, I will stay self-sufficient and self-contained. I prefer it that way. I will keep my purity of spirit---untainted by compromising myself by being true to other people's views rather than my own.

My Body, My Castle: An Argument for the Rights of Women

The right for a woman to retain her body’s physical integrity is the right to have an abortion. An unwanted pregnancy is battery; unless the woman the fetus is occupying gives consent for her body to be invaded by a foreign entity that invasion is illegal. Laws have been written, passed, and enforced by men who have long considered women and children to be property. As a result, law has always been discriminatory and prejudiced against women. A woman, as property, has no right to tamper with or destroy the property of her owner. It is a harsh realization for the modern woman to find out that “it is constitutional for the federal government and the states to protect the fetus by removing abortion funding from medical policies […]” (5) even in the event that the pregnant woman may be permanently injured or killed by the fetus. How valuable is a woman’s life to the government, for all the talk of the liberation of women? Still, many men and women consider abortion laws to be necessary because abortion is unethical. It is true, abortion is very much unethical, but ethics has very little bearing on whether or not something is or should be illegal.

Battery is “the unlawful and unwanted touching or striking of one person by another, with the intention of bringing about a harmful or offensive contact” (The American Heritage® Dictionary). In the United States laws regarding abortion have long been debated. In Roe vs. Wade a landmark U.S. Supreme Court case decision, that most laws against abortion at the time violated a woman’s constitutional right to privacy, was established. Just recently the Federal Partial-Birth Abortion Ban of 2003 was signed by President George W. Bush in October of 2003. This piece of legislation an attempt to ban abortion from as early as twelve to fifteen weeks, and also part of a larger stratagem to overturn Roe vs. Wade and ban all abortions in the United States. Many courts have ruled that this ban and other similar bans are “overbroad, dangerous, and unconstitutional” on the grounds that they endanger a woman’s health and safety by attempting to regulate “safe and medically appropriate” medical procedures (“Interested Persons”). The executives of Ohio, Governor Robert Taft, Lieutenant Governor Bruce Johnson, and Attorney General Jim Petro are all anti-choice. That probably explains why the State of Ohio currently bans safe medical procedures to abort a fetus. Ohio laws also require women to endure biased counseling and delays. If late term abortions are unethical, if that is the real problem, then why do state laws in an anti-choice require a waiting period? Ohio also has “an unconstitutional and unenforceable ban on post-viability abortions” which only has a “dangerously narrow” health exception (“Who Decides?”). Ohio legislation restricts access to abortion for low-income women, with a clear implication that reproductive rights are only for the rich woman.

Doctors take an oath to save lives and many supporters of the Federal Partial-Birth Abortion Ban of 2003 say that doctors are taking lives by performing abortions. The most repulsive thing about this law is the fact that the ban does not provide any clause to save a woman’s life. The federal government’s blatant disregard for the sanctity of a woman’s life makes a mockery of women everywhere. The supporters of this ban seem to hold the same disrespect for life, so long as it is a woman’s life and not the life of an unborn child. As of July 8, 2005 the Eighth Circuit unanimously found the Federal Partial-Birth Abortion Ban of 2003 to be unconstitutional for failing to provide a health exception. Considering the quote of John Ashcroft from earlier, it is too bad he hasn’t made a similar speech for the right of “Female Americans” the Attorney General, however, is a little busy in court trying to have the Federal Partial-Birth Abortion Ban of 2003 upheld despite being unconstitutional. Three trial courts decided that the Federal Partial-Birth Abortion Ban of 2003 was unconstitutional and in all cases the appellate courts upheld those rulings (“Supreme Court”).

Abortion bans serve only to make a woman less than a man. A woman is an equal citizen under the law, but a woman is the only one who can make the choice to have an abortion. By restricting a woman’s right to physical independence, by condoning the very intrusive battery involved in an unwanted pregnancy, legislature attempts to give unborn children more rights than they would have as born people. There is no greater purpose for lawmakers, says Attorney General John Ashcroft, “than ensuring that the law applies fairly and equally to all Americans.” This was part of a speech at The Great Hall on February 20, 2002. Now, this speech was for National African American History Month and John Ashcroft was talking about the freedom of African Americans. It is unclear why this statement cannot apply to women and the unborn. “A woman will not understand what true dependency is until she is cradling her own infant in her arms; nor will she likely achieve the self-confidence she craves until she has withstood, and transcended, the weight of responsibility a family places upon her” (Crittenden 928). Women are stereotyped as always being caregivers, as if the tendency of some women to give of themselves negates her right to refuse to give of herself. Being a woman is not so different from being a man, she will not always want to give of herself. Women are stereotyped, or simply misunderstood, even by other women. “We used to have a button that said, ‘A woman’s life is a human life,’ when Congress is considering a Human Life Amendment that declared that a fetus is a person from the moment of conception. And here we have another issue,” Merle Hoffman said, “which is that women’s lives don’t really matter that much” (Hoffman).

A woman has the right to refuse to allow a fetus to infringe upon her right to physiological integrity. If any woman is an equal citizen in the United States then every woman has the right to be secure in her own skin, that is, a woman has the right, just like all citizens of the United States, to retain the integrity of her physical body. A fetus violates that right without consent and a woman should be able to defend herself and expel the foreign invader from her body. A woman’s body is her castle, she is an equal citizen, and she has absolute dominion over her body and everything in it. Willis talks about a woman’s right to choose whether or not to bear the burden of pregnancy, “I don’t doubt that fetuses are alive, or that they are basically human – what else would they be?” (515) and insists that simply because they are alive does not mean that abortion is murder because a fetus cannot have the right to violate a woman’s rights. Many women feel that it is selfish to put themselves before the potential person inside them. Amy Hoffman brought it up in her interview with Merle Hoffman, “In other words, women feel guilty about that decision, about saying ‘My life matters, and I have to choose that first.’” If the state wants to protect a fetus as a “preborn human life” with the same rights as someone who has already been born then the state must also restrict the fetus from its wrongful deprivation of a woman’s liberty and life, a direct violation of the Due Process Clause. If the fetus is to be protected from the woman then the woman must also be protected from the fetus (McDonagh 124).

It could be said that because the fetus doesn’t have any control over what it does to a woman, abortion is murder. Fetuses are alive. Being a living entity, even without a conscious will, doesn’t make pregnancy any less of an invasion. If a woman’s body is used without her consent as a resource by anyone other than a fetus it is considered abhorrent, whether or not the aggressor in this case knew whether or not he or she was causing harm. When a person has a bacterial infection the fact that the bacterium doesn’t realize it is causing harm does not mean that it should be allowed to spread. The bacterium is certainly alive but its life requires the consent of the host to use the resources it is taking. Often pregnancy is seen as being caused by the biological father of the fetus. The father, however, does not cause morning sickness, does not drain the woman of her body’s energy and nutrients. The fetus is invading the woman’s body and violating her right to physical integrity. The father, hopefully, had the woman’s consent to sexual intercourse. If the woman wants an abortion then obviously the fetus does not have consent. “A woman must have the right to consent to maternalism in particular and to altruism bestowed on a fetus in general” because in the intrusion without consent by a fetus on a woman the fetus is serving its own needs and violating the woman’s right to physical integrity (McDonagh 82).

It could be said that abortion is the killing an unborn child and it is obviously unethical. A woman has the absolute right to have an abortion, but having a right does not mean it is ethical. A pacifist would not consider killing ethical in any situation, but the law states that to kill in self-defense is legal. Being a living entity does not give a fetus more rights to liberty, health, or happiness than a woman whose rights are being violated by the hostile fetal takeover. If a child needed a kidney transplant to live and a parent with two healthy kidneys refused to give up a kidney for that child it would be unethical, not illegal. The law cannot force any individual into enslavement, no matter what the excuse. Every equal citizen under the law has the right of self-ownership.

No matter what any one individual thinks of a fetus or its rights the rights of all women should be paramount, never should the rights of a potential life supersede the rights of any woman’s actual life.

Works Cited

Barnet, Sylvan and Hugo Bedau, eds. Current Issues and Enduring Questions: A Guide to Critical Thinking and Argument, with Readings. 7^th ed. Boston:

Bedford / St. Martin's, 2005.

Crittenden, Danielle. "About Love." Barnet and Bedau 927-30.

Willis, Ellen. "Putting Women Back into the Abortion Debate." Barnet and Bedau 515-21.

Hoffman, Amy. "Saving Women's Lives." Women's Review of Books 21.6 (2004): 20-1. Academic Search Premier. EBSCOhost. Lorain County Community College, Elyria, Ohio. 04 April 2006 <http://www.ebscohost.com/>.

"Abortion Bans: An Affront to Women's Health and Rights .'" American Civil Liberties Union. 07 September 2002. ACLU. 04 April 2006 <http://www.aclu.org/reproductiverights/abortionbans/16546leg20020709.html/ >.

McDonagh, Eileen L. Breaking the Abortion Deadlock: From Choice to Consent. New York: Oxford University Press, 1996.

"Who Decides? The Status of Women's Reproductive Rights in the United States." NARAL Pro-Choice America. 2006. NARAL Pro-Choice America Foundation. 04 April 2006 <http://www.naral.org/>.

Diary of a Freak Magnet: Lady of the dance

Diary of a Freak Magnet: Lady of the dance

Chivalry and Other Mid-evil Concepts (Part 2)

ROUGH Draft

Maybe I should call the other post a prelude and call this part one?

I am a Witch. I believe in God, but is not the Christian version.

In my particular, unique, and singularly individual belief system the God is multi-faceted. For this particular topic I would like to concern myself with the aspects of the God as both the Hunter and the Stag.

He is the Lord of the woods, God of the hunt, and of animals. He provides for the tribe as the Hunter and is honored or rewarded for his deeds by being permitted to join with the Goddess through the Great Rite and give himself life again through his son. (His son is himself, a reincarnation type of thing.)

The Horned God is the Lord of Life because by providing food for his family he gives them life. He is the God of Death and the Underworld because he is also the Stag that must die in order for this sustenance to be provided to them. He is the Sun to the Goddess' Moon. He reigns with the Goddess in ruling over the fertility cycle of birth, death and rebirth. He is born at the winter solstice, unites with the Goddess in marriage at Beltane, and dies at the summer solstice to bring fertility to the land.

It's all about cycles, my belief system.

You might wonder how this relates to chivalry and in some ways it doesn't, but it does relate to the manner in which I believe men and women should treat each other. Be respectful. Understand that without both life would not exist.

From my perspective (and I understand many women, probably especially feminists, will not share this viewpoint) those people who channel the God in the day to day have a sacred privilege. The God in your household, whether that is a woman, a man, or a hermaphrodite, has the privilege of acting our the God's role. Some people strongly channel the God in a literal sense. They hunt, bring home deer and whatnot, clean it, cook it, and put it on the table. There is nothing wrong with that kid of man. Put it in perspective.

The Goddess is just as multi-faceted as the God. She provides life through the womb and care through empathy but she is also the Crone, a Goddess of Death and a dark mother. She respresents our destruction, death, and decay. She forces us to realize that death is a part of the cycle we must all go through. Here, as in nature, the death of Winter is followed by the promise of rebirth in the Spring. She is often depicted as a Grandmother, a wise woman, or a midwife. Her own child rearing days are past; she is the wisdom keeper, seer and healer, whose knowledge is sought out to guide others during life's hardships and transitions. Invoke the Goddess in her dark aspect to help you face your deepest fears as despite her often fierce ways and appearance she offers great wisdom to those prepared to look upon her face.

Do you really think the Hunter would leave his home, his castle (a castle is a place to retreat to, a place to defend above all else), if he didn't respect the woman he left in charge of it to keep it (and his progeny) safe from harm?

If a Hunter leaves his Goddess home in charge of the castle he must know she isn't going to lower the drawbridge (open the door) to any Tom, Dick, or Harry that comes along. He must know that she is going to grab his spare shotgun out of the case and defend the home they share together, should it be threatened while he is away.

Today, you don't see that happening literally in U.S. cities. Because they are cities. Besides, if you can afford to leave you wife at home, generally speaking you are a business man and not a hunter. (All generalizations are dangerous, including this one.) The modern-day idea of a homemaker is someone who... doesn't even want to own a shotgun. (Of course, I think this because I just watched Nanny Diaries, but still.)

Now, I'll be honest. I've never seen a gun in person much less learned how to use one. I'm not someone who channels the Goddess' war-like facet. Or the God's war-like facet. I tend to be more pacifist in nature (though not completely).

Still, everyone should see respect where it is given. Respect is not necessarily shown by opening doors for women, but in loving, trusting, and respecting them. And women! Pay respect to men, please. Don't let your need for respect from drown out your common sense. Appreciate respect from others when they show you real respect. Besides, would you respect a person who was not respectful of you? No? So, why do you expect a man to be respectful of you if you are going to be dismissive and belittle the importance and significance of men in our lives?

Do your best. That's all anyone should ask of you. Anything above and beyond that, you should be asking of yourself.

Feel free to disagree, I know a lot of women friends of mine who are going to hate this post. :)

Thinking

Yes, I know, I should be writing about (finishing) my last blog but something occurred to me today that I haven't been able to shake.

Is right to get married? This is partially a result of reading a blog about how abstinence-only education is not just a failure for heterosexual couples. The interesting part of the blog:

Abstinence-only education, set up through the Social Security Act of 1998, states that the programs must teach, “social, psychological, and health gains of abstinence; abstinence as the expected standard; abstinence is the only certain way to avoid pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases; monogamous relationship in the context of marriage is the expected standard of sexual activity; sexual activity outside of the context of marriage is likely to have harmful psychological and physical effects; how to reject sexual advances and how alcohol and drug use increase vulnerability to sexual advances” among other things (U.S. Social Security Administration).

[...]

Even the curriculum of abstinence-only sex education is problematic. It not only discriminates against lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender youth, but also violates human rights. Because abstinence-only education, as previously stated, teaches “marriage as the expected standard of sexual activity” and “sexual activity outside of the context of marriage is likely to have harmful… effects” (Alford), it excludes non-heterosexual teens. It also “rejects the idea of sexual intimacy for lesbians and gays and ignores their need for critical information about protection” (ACLU). Access to comprehensive and accurate information health—including sexual health—is recognized as a human right (SIECUS). Abstinence- only courses often censor information about contraceptives or distort the statistics. They also lack giving any information about where contraceptives can be obtained. Without this sort of information, teens get confused.

Read the complete blog: http://www.wrc.pdx.edu/shesheet/wordpress/?p=275

What stuck in my head was the part about how getting married is only legal for heterosexual couples in most states, and in most parts of the world, yet we still think of sex outside of marriage harmful. So, what this basically says to people who live alternative lifestyles is that it is unhealthy for them to indulge in physical intimacy. The opposite is true. Being intimate and sharing your life with someone you respect, trust, and who respects and trusts you will extend your lifespan (if you don't get hit by a bus or contract an STD).

My question is whether or not marriage is right for anyone in this day and age. I have always anticipated I would get married. I made the decision early on in my life that even though I would love to raise children I would not want to take the risk of being pregnant myself because of health problems I have had since I was thirteen. Today, this very morning, for the first time in my life (granted I'm only 22) I considered the fact that getting married might not be right.

I have plenty of friends that fall under the "alternative lifestyle" category. I love them to pieces and the lives they live don't change a damn thing. I was wondering how I would explain it to them.

"I know you are not allowed to get married, to have the same acceptance from society that I have in my sexuality and choice of life partner, but I'm enjoying the privileges that our unfair, prejudiced society is unjustly keeping from you and I'd like you to attend."

I can't imagine inviting my bisexual, gay, or whatever friends to my wedding. It would be too unfair. I do remember the last Christmas I spent with my parents. They had a huge pile of presents for my brother, but when it came time for me my father said, "Oops, we forgot." (My parents forgot me on Christmas, can you believe it?) I remember the feeling of having to be respectful and good and all that jazz. I remember sitting through the entire opening of presents (I did not forget to buy presents for my brother and my parents.) knowing I would not be able to participate in the same way. It felt like hours, but it was probably just thirty minutes.

(I did spend hours in my room crying, quietly, lest anyone hear. I was afraid to spoil my Christmas even more because I knew that I would be in trouble for spoiling everyone else's good time by being noticeably upset. Then I had to back down for Christmas dinner and be sociable. It sucked.)

I don't ever want to make anyone feel like that. Ever. But I also don't want to get married if I can't invite some of my best friends.

So. Maybe I won't. Maybe I'll boycott those rights and privileges that others are unfairly, unjustly barred from in our country.

I can be happy without being legally married.

Picture it this way, if you don't think you agree with me. Say there is someplace (bar, restaurant, night club) that discriminates against blacks, or Asians, or girls with green eyes. Say you have a good friend who is black, or Asian, or has green eyes. (If fact, say that whatever they discriminate is a quality of your best friend.) Would you go without him/her? Or would you boycott?


My horoscope today, via Tarot.com: "Virgo: A day that is grounded in practical actions will probably make you feel better about yourself and your world. Your limits of indulgence may be tested by romantic temptations, but you may choose to let the opportunity go by. Keep in mind that you can still be prudent in your life choices without having to limit your happiness."

Respect

Respect is defined as "an attitude of admiration or esteem" and it this case I am talking about showing admiration or esteem towards women.

Eye contact is a good way to show respect in our culture. Sometimes, though, men take direct eye contact as a means of flirtation. In other cultures eye contact is a sign or disrespect; for example, the traditional Vietnamese parent may take direct eye contact as a sign of disrespect.

Allow other people to express their own unique point of view. This gets to the point of the fact that while we may not always agree with someone or what they say, but we must always respect what it is that they say. You may disagree with someone, but it is a sign of your own self-respect to let others have unique beliefs and opinions without feeling threatened by the difference of opinion.

Give the women in your life time to say what it is they want to say. One way to show disrespect someone is to rudely cut in while the other person is speaking. Allow others the they need and you are likely to get yours as well. (I'm bad at this, I need to work on it.)

Be sensitive to the feelings of others. If you are a man, this might not be your best thing. A good rule is to just ask, "Is this something you need to talk about because I'm in trouble, because you want to solve the problem, or because you just need someone to listen?" If the person (we'll assume female) says they just want you to listen it means you get to be a cheerleader. Show your loyalty. Side with her completely. If you feel the need to point out a solution, or that she isn't entirely in the right... Do it later. When she's done venting.

Some women feel like opening doors for them is not respectful... The best advice I can give: Ask each woman what her preferences are before you proceed.

Chivalry and Other Mid-evil Concepts

After reading "The Question of Chivalry" by Tracey at Unapologetically Female I had to respond. So, I commented.

My comment was:

What are gender neutral ways to show respect for others? Rather than bashing men who are trying to be courteous (and not understanding that a lot of women don't see it as a courtesy) why don't we try to replace old (sometimes bad behaviors) with good ones.

"She's talking about all men "gallantly" showing women respect through door-opening when there are so many other (much more important) ways in which they systematically disrespect women," Tracey said.

Can we get a thread or a conversation going about the ways men are disrespectful and try to teach them better ways to show us respect? For that matter, can we talk about ways to show men respect that aren't promoting male chauvinism or the subtle degradation of (ourselves) women? That is a blog I'd like to read. This is a good segue or prequel to that conversation, and I think it's a conversation that needs to be had.

(The End)

Except I'm not done.

TBC...